richwhitelesbian:

wizcoylifa:

fifty shades (thats it. thats the whole joke. im wearing 50 pairs of sunglasses right now this is comedy gold people)

“ya but how many chainz” i holler from the back of the crowd. suddenly its my show and your girlfriend is on my arm now. shes also a man and your gay

(Source: jordybelfort)

sonicbillymays:

j3nnard:

I can’t believe they left their child unattended #badparenting



“Sit Here I’ll be back in a little bit”

sonicbillymays:

j3nnard:

I can’t believe they left their child unattended #badparenting

“Sit Here I’ll be back in a little bit”

oreoofficial:

i want to be like 4 years old again just so i can be blatantly rude to everyone and theyll think its cute

zootedboy:

*black couple living in a haunted house*

wife: the house haunted

husband: we out this bitch

*everybody lives*

carry-on-my-consulting-tardis:

I have two moods 

One is highly sophisticated intellectual who goes into complex thoughts and is always moody and deep

the other is an immature 5 year old that doesn’t know how to control herself or her language or her actions

there is no inbetween

(Source: lydiamartuin)

Social anxiety can suck my dick.